Anybody seen this?
WTF was that...?
I mean I should have known that it was going to be bad, after all it was directed by Michael Bay (*shudders*), and everything he touches has a way of turning to complete shit.
But I held out hope. I had all the transformer toys as a kid, I watched the cartoon religiously growing up. I REALLY wanted this movie to be good. I REALLY tried to like it.
But it's crap, crap, crap.
It's just one big MESS.
The plot is an absolute sprawling mess. "Sector 7"? Come on...
. The typical contrived patriotic sequences, complete with over-the-top score, that you see in all Bay's movies were there too.
Way too much effort spent on comedy bits that aren't even funny (or original. Optimus Prime actually says "my bad", and they have a robot that talks in ebonics, breakdances, and actually says "What up, bitches!" *sigh*).
The special effects were pretty good, but mostly rendered useless and incomprehensible by the awful action sequence direction (you can't even tell whats going on half the time with all the camera shake and quick-cuts).
The product placement in this film is obscene and intrusive (yeah, I get that GMC sponsored this thing, the fact that every transformer is a GMC car is enough to sell that, I don't need to see a camera shot centered on the big GMC logo EVERYTIME the robot transforms into car/truck form).
It's a summer blockbuster movie about robots, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it has a completely "manufactured" feel to it. But it's just so... BAD.
Hollywood learned long ago that by and large movie going audiences are idiots. And so they give them exactly what they want.
But this mishmash of tired movie cliches, CGI special effects, cheesy over the top music, stale humor, and product advertisements is insulting even to idiots.
I actually would have liked this movie a lot more if it was simply robots blowing shit up for two hours (after all, what more can you ask for!
). Instead we get the mess of melodramatic shit that is a Michael Bay movie.
The one promising thing about this movie was the short trailer for J.J. Abrams' secret monster movie project (codenamed "Cloverfield"). Basically, it's a monster movie shot through the home video cameras of the people experiencing it. Sort of like Godzilla meets the Blair Witch Project. Interesting. About halfway through Transformers I was still thinking about that trailer.
And... they are releasing a movie remake of Matheson's "I Am Legend". This was such a great book, not your typical horror/vampire novel.
Unfortunately they cast Will Smith as the main character and reset it in New York City. And from the previews it looks Will Smith is going to do to "I Am Legend" what he did to "I, Robot".
Someone needs to bomb Hollywood. NOW.
Sorry for the rant, but this was just bad. I love mindless popcorn films as much as the next guy, but... ugh this was painful to watch.
~Mike
