Carlos Mencia (Ned Holness) hate group.

Some of you might know that Carlos Mencia is a hack. Well some unlucky person has a college roommate that loves to watch his show. After asking for advice online, this is what he found.

I'm going to go with Hintz on this one. I don't know what the hell Paul was trying to say. Purchase a Smith & Wessen handgun under a fake name at an out-of-state pawn shop. Remove the surveillance footage of you actually purchasing the firearm from the store's security archives. Never handle the gun without latex gloves, which are available at your local Walgreen's. Sand the serial number off of the weapon (it is usually located next to the barrel, above the trigger). This next step is very important. Go to your local movie theatre, and pay for a ticket USING A CREDIT/DEBIT CARD (this way there is a paper trail that would further support your alibi). HANG ON TO THE TICKET STUB. This may seem tedious, but it will keep the state of Arizona from sticking a needle in your arm. Make sure the task is completed within a timeframe of fifteen minutes after the movie starts, and fifteen minutes before the movie ends (this should give you a minimum of one hour to complete the job). Enter your dorm wearing a plain, navy blue windbreaker with the hood up. If you are required to swipe your student ID upon entrance of your dorm, wait until someone goes into the dorm, and follow him/her in. To ensure that you get in, you may want to have an accomplice let you in, but an accessory to murder is just one more loose end to tie up. Try and avoid an accomplice. When you have breached the dorm, take the stairs. Elevators are absolute no-no's. They cannot be trusted. What will you do when all your preparation goes to waste because the elevator cables are malfunctioning? Keep it simple. The stairs are the best option. Plus, you are less likely to encounter anyone in a stairwell. That is one less batch of witnesses to point you out to a state prosecutor in a court of law. Finally, page all residents of neighboring rooms down to the front desk, saying they have a package. Knock on his door, and say, "Ned Holness says Hello." Double-tap to the sternum, single-tap right between the eyes. You won't need to take a pulse. The grey matter spraying the floor will be assurance enough that this guy has punched his last ticket to the big adios. Then calmly turn around and walk away, passing the decieved neighbors in the hall on their way back to their dorms. Pause for the briefest of seconds just to hear their cries of horror. Smile knowing that your television will no longer be polluted by that phony **** Carlos Mencia, as you get rid of your clothes and shoes and change into the new ones stashed in the black duffel bag in the dumpster outside.

I guess that's the way to get stuff done.

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